i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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