I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
