This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
