Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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