At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
