I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
