Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
