Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
