Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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