I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
