I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
