i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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