Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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