he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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