i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
