She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
