Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
