what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
