i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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