I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
