my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So vagazzling was a success
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