He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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