HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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