i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
