woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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