just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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