I didn't shave. On purpose
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
