I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
