I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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