i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
