Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
