I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
