I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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