just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
