I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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