My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize