So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
