? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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