I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
