She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
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I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
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It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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