worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
