Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Are we still banned from the library?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
