This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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