"it" just moved
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.