i permit you to call me
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.