She said her name was "party"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later