and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead