Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
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it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?