Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
this beer tastes like vomit already
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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