Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize