u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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