Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
