Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
