he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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