the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Blood and glitter go together right?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
