a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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