How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
