about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
