I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize