Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
