he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
