roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
